Monthly Archives: June 2012

The gift that keeps on…er…taking (?)

The gift that keeps on….er….taking (?)

 I have to warn you from here, this is going to be juvenile.   I took this screen shot so you could see it.  It got my creative juices flowing, which can almost NEVER be good.

It reads:

“Register with Obama 2012

 Got a special milestone or event coming up?

 Instead of another gift card you’ll forget to use, ask your friends and family for something that will go a little further: a donation to Obama for America. Register your next celebration—whether it’s a birthday, bar or bat mitzvah, wedding, or anniversary—with the Obama campaign. It’s a great way to show your support for a cause that’s important to you on your big day.

Oh yeah…here we go!!!  That will really stimulate the economy.  So I got to thinking, what are some other ideas the Obama Campaign hasn’t tapped into yet?  Here are some suggestions, feel free to add your own.

  •  In lieu of flowers for the death of your loved one, reelect Obama!
  •  Do you really need all those extra organs? For each kidney you give, the president could have an extra 30 second ad in Ohio.
  •  Does your daughter still have her virginity? Let Obama For America find a buyer on our new auction site oBay!
  •  Stop paying for groceries! Get food stamps & send your grocery money to Obama!
  •  $50 and you can be a honorary czar for the day.
  •  Tell your kids that if they’re good all year Santa will donate their gifts to Obama.
  •  Are you expecting? Don’t punish yourself with a baby! Abort and give the money you would have spend raising a child to Obama.
  •  Dying?  Remember Obama in your will.
  •  HEY!!!!  We could sell California to Mexico. We’ll still have 56 states to go.
  •  For each $1000.00 donation you will receive a permit to drink a 32 oz. Big Gulp in the middle of Times Square.
  •  For Sale: Official “It’s Bush’s Fault” certificate with Obama’s signature.
  •  Instead of that expensive kidney dialysis, consider making a donation to Obama’s reelection campaign.  I mean really?  How selfish are you.
  •  Pin the Tail on the Pelosi.
  •  “And then children, you put your tooth under your pillow and the Tooth Fairy comes in while you sleep and donates money to Obama.”
  •  A bikini car wash – featuring: Hillary Clinton, Janet Napolitano, Michelle Obama, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg

COME ON!!!!  You can’t say I didn’t warn you.  I told you it was juvenile.  Look on the bright side, at least your not paying to read this crap.

Wanna share your suggestions?

 

LIFEZILLA:  I don’t “suffer” from insanity.  I enjoy every single second of it.

Oh No, I so sowwy! Did I huwt youw wittwe feewings?

Oh No, I so sowwy!  Did I huwt youw wittwe feewings? 

It has been a crazy busy week.  I have soooooooo much I want to write about.  I’m tempted to write about Fast and Furious (it’s complicated, but I think I’ll understand it better if I write it out), I want to write about Mayor Bloomberg doubling down on his stupid idea to ban soft drinks.  He is now including popcorn in the ban (OH, and just so you know, Los Angeles, and Cambridge, MA are also considering similar bans.)  But I’m not going to write about any of those things…yet.  What really got me going today was an email a friend of mine sent me last week.  It annoys me so much I, almost, wish I didn’t read it.

On June 11, Todd Starnes wrote an article titled, “NYC Educators Back Ban on Patriotic Song.”  The article describes an incident where, Greta Hawkins, the principal of the Edna Cohen School in Coney Island, instructed teachers to remove the song from the upcoming program, a kindergarten graduation ceremony. Staffers at the school told the New York Post that Hawkins was afraid the song might “offend other cultures.”

What song was it she found so offensive?  “God Bless the USA”

Here are the lyrics to the song:

God Bless The USA

by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there’s pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA

I KNOW!!!  How offensive are those lyrics?  Whoever wrote them must be a monster!

Normally, I souport publik edekasion but this is just beyond ridiculous.  Instead of this patriotic song, “God Bless the USA” students performed “Baby,” a Justin Bieber song about teenage romance.  Ahhhhhh isn’t that just super cute?

Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY) issued a statement condemning the principal’s actions.

“I have just one question for this principal – who exactly are we offending?  The only thing offensive about any of this is the anti-American message being engrained in our youth. We all should be proud to be American and we should never ever apologize for it.” He added, “It’s time we stop letting our political correctness destroy our values and American traditions, and start embracing the exceptional people and cultures that make our country great.”

The New York City Board of Education defended the principal’s decision.  In a statement to the Post, Dennis Walcott, the chancellor of NYC schools, defended Hawkins by saying, “It’s her judgment to make that decision.  You have to really wonder about some of the lyrics in the song, so I have to rely on the principal’s judgment along that line.”

You have to “wonder” about the lyrics?  Wonder about what?  Now, I’m not the most highly educated man.  Sincerely, I’m one of the stupidest people I know, but I have brainwashed myself into believing it is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.

Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, said Hawkins has been unfairly attacked for banning the song.

Unfairly attacked?  Guess what Mr. Unfairly attacked?  The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into Get Over Yourself, before coming to a complete stop at Pull Your Head Out. If you have any complaints forward em to 1-800-waa-aaah.  Guess what sunshine! Life doesn’t revolve around you.

Lee Greenwood, who wrote the popular patriotic anthem, told television station WNYW that he was troubled by the principal’s actions.

“I take exception that she said the lyrics are not age appropriate,” he said. “If my lyrics aren’t appropriate, then what is?”

No kidding.

Just for fun let’s take this “ohmigosh we might offend someone” mentality and fast forward a few years.  If an American song is dangerous because it is offensive how long until other patriotic things “offend” other cultures?  Will the American flag offend?  Remember last year five high school students were sent home for wearing an American flag on their T-shirts on Cinco de Mayo.  What about the Pledge of Allegiance?  How long until that becomes offensive?  It does, after all have the words, “America” “Flag” and “God” (which is being challenged constantly).  When did it become wrong to be proud to be an American?  Why is it wrong to teach patriotism to children and to establish a sense of pride for their country?

Personally, I don’t care if someone’s Patriotism offends anyone.  I think we should be able to be as ridiculously patriotic as we want to.  This is America.  You can’t show up here and expect us to not be Americans and proud of our country.  Can you imagine going to France and being offended everyone is speaking French? That’s probably not a great example.  They are, after all, the French.  How about visiting the Middle East and being offended when everyone faces Mecca and prays?  Could that be offensive to anyone?  Would they care?  No.  And they shouldn’t.  That’s their culture.  It’s what they do.  It’s part of the gig.

For over 200 years men and women have fought and died to protect our right to be as patriotic, or not patriotic, as we want to be.  So we could fly our flags, sing our songs, eat our hot dogs on the 4th of July, then stand with one hand to our heart and Pledge our Allegiance to one freaking awesome flag and one amazingly wonderful country.  Or not.  If that is what we chose.

(Whew….)  I don’t know about you, but I feel better.  Oh, and if I have ever offended you with my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself.

 

Lifezilla: Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don’t do vegetables!!

 

This made me laugh……..

“…GULP…”

“Gulp”

New York must be a wonderful place to live.  Can you imagine a city with 100% employment, where crime is nonexistent, where every road is beautifully paved, and people just get along?  It MUST be that nice.  Why else would the three-term Mayor decide to put soda on his target list?

Oh you read correctly, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is proposing a ban on large servings of soda and other sugary drinks at restaurants, delis, sports arenas and movie theaters.  He proposes limiting drinks to16 ounces.  16 OUNCES!!!  What kind of wuss only drinks 16 ounces?  Seriously, I could down that in one slurp.

Well done, Mayor Bloomberg, well done (clap, clap, clap).  You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger.

Why is he proposing something so silly?  He wants to save us all from obesity.

This guy is proof positive you can have all the money in the world and still not be able to buy any class (or a clue).  Bloomberg is the 11th richest person in the US, but he forgot one little thing about the soda drinking ban.  It is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.  Plus this is the same man who “recently issued a proclamation declaring Friday doughnut day in New York.”  Seriously!!!!

On the one hand I can see his point of view. Take me for instance.  I hate seeing a fat person when I’m working out (which is why I never go to gyms with mirrors).  And I TOTALLY agree that it is tragic when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.  You see a larger person in skinny jeans and you can almost hear the seams of their pants screaming in pain.  Believe me.  I get it.

But how does it make any sense to have parts of the country legalizing weed, with others outlawing soda?  I’ll tell you, I’m starting to believe 99% of people in this world are stupid (luckily I’m in the other 2%).

Not to beat a dead horse here (although it does make a really interesting “thud” sound), won’t people just find other ways of being obese if that is what they choose to do?  Is soda the real problem, or is our lifestyle the problem?  How about sitting in front of a computer all day blogging, or playing “Minecraft?”  Bloomberg isn’t fighting obesity, he is advocating taking away a persons personal right to choose.  That is kind of what government does.  Ayn Rand once said, “There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.”  And slowly your freedom is stripped away.

According to MSNBC in 2012 there were 40,000 new state laws passed.  40,000!!! And that is only at the state level.

I found this quote by Alexis de Tocqueville from Democracy in America this morning. It literally jumped off my screen and smacked me in the face.

Society will develop a new kind of servitude which covers the surface of society with a network of complicated rules, through which the most original minds and the most energetic characters cannot penetrate. It does not tyrannise but it compresses, enervates, extinguishes, and stupefies a people, till each nation is reduced to nothing better than a flock of timid and industrious animals, of which the government is the shepherd.” 
― Alexis de Tocqueville

So we are all on the same page, I have no problem with educating people about healthy food choices.  List the calories.  But after that “Let Them Eat Cake” and wash it down with whatever size beverages our freedom loving gullets want to splurge on!!

I remember that a seat belt law was passed when I was in High School.  They wouldn’t pull you over for not wearing one, but if you were pulled over for something else you would get nabbed for it too.  I believe it was called a “secondary offence”.  This morning, coming into work, I saw a “Click it or Ticket” billboard AND heard a commercial on the radio about it.  My question is, “Who is paying for the billboards and commercials?”  Are these our tax dollars at work?  As a mature adult (HA HA HA HA), I’m sorry.  I almost got that out without laughing. As an adult, I chose to wear my seat belt.  It makes complete sense to me.  But if I choose not to it does not affect one other driver at all. Not one little bit.  If I wrap my car around a pole and go flying out the window, who is the idiot?  I AM.

It is called “reaping what you sow.”

This may sound silly, but (you Darwin believers will love this), I almost think we should remove the warning labels from everything at let the herd thin itself.

We, supposedly, live in a country where we can choose to take care of ourselves.  It’s called FREEDOM.  Choose to live wisely, or don’t.  If you choose not to, you suffer the consequences.  Why does the government want to take away our basic right to care for ourselves and families the way that works for us?  What’s next, limiting the number of children we can have?

Why do they treat us like we are so stupid?

The soda is just a symbol.  You can have my “Super Big Gulp” when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers!!!

 

 

LIFEZILLA:  So I was checking out some other websites, and I thought to myself, “why don’t I make a website that doesn’t suck?”