Memory Lane

Memory Lane

Before I launch into today’s article, I hope you all had an inoffensive politically correct seasonal period of celebratory behavior with variations of traditions and significance!!!  Errrr…I’m sorry.  I hope you all had the Merriest of Christmas’.

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In the “Personal History” category, I thought I would go down memory lane with you.  Many, many years ago the company I work for purchased a program were I could, from my computer, fax my customers a monthly newsletter.  I would write little witty articles about what was going on at work and set the program to fax them after midnight (when the rates were the cheapest), so my customers would have them when they got to the office.

And then when we finally got email,  I would do the same thing, only in email form.  I would have a business related article and then I started adding witty little stories to the article that had NOTHING to do with business.  It was SOOOOO MUCH FUN.

Many years ago I wrote a few things regarding “New Years Resolutions”.  I’m just going to pretty much copy and paste it here.  I changed the dates, removed a name and updated some things, but it is pretty much the same.

I hope you have a happy New Year.

Calvin

New Year’s Resolutions

Shhhhhhh. . . Can you keep a secret?  If you are in an office like mine, then you probably have one of those annoying co-workers who carefully records his New Year’s resolutions, and then, 4 months from now, ridicules those of us who didn’t follow through on our own.  Well, this year I’m outsmarting him.  I’m telling him my resolution this year is “abstinence.”   Moooowahahahaha, let’s see him make fun of me if I happen to get lucky.

I actually do believe in setting goals, and making New Year’s resolutions.  Anyone who knows me knows “Self Improvement” is almost an obsession.  From the time I was a wee little lad my mother taught that “a goal not written down is only a wish.”  So with that in mind I thought I would take this opportunity to chronicle my goals and resolutions for the year 2013.

I resolve:

To exercise less  – Total waste of time

To watch more TV – I’m missing a lot of good stuff

To use my credit cards more often and for bigger purchases – It ticks me off my neighbors have better stuff than I do.

To stop eating fudge, after just these 15 more pieces.  Maybe 20.

To “scoop poop” in the yard BEFORE the Humane Society sends a cease and desist letter.

Too pay bester attension too my speeling and grammer.

To exceed the office “Annual Fitness Goal” by striving to be 7.63% fatter, thus wresting away the good parking spot from that “Slack bastard” I work with.  You know what?  I am not sure I understand the Fitness goals.

To finally get that flatulence-emission reduction surgery. . . . Again.

To be a more caring and attentive father to little What’s-His-Face over there.

To stop basing all my personal decisions on things I learn from watching “Jersey Shore.”

To appear on COPS again, this time wearing a shirt.

To give a little more to Charity. . .thus ensuring her continued silence to the wife.   —–TOTALLY JOKING!!!!

To consider all people worthy of equal attention, no matter how distant they may be. Including that hottie on the 18th floor of the apartment building three blocks away who never uses curtains, especially now that I’ve recently given myself a telescope for Christmas.

To do a better job of keeping the Five Commandments.

To pay less attention to the voices in my head and more attention to the SWAT team surrounding the building. (What the. . . ? You’re kidding me, right?  I don’t know why you’re being all pissy.  I told you I was going to write it down.  You seriously can’t be mad at me.  Oh, that’s reeeeeally mature, ha ha ha, let’s ALL repeat exactly what I’m saying.  Shhhh, all of you!!!  I think they’re still here. Quick!!!  Everyone act natural.  I don’t know!  Like THEY are.  All of you shut up!!!!!)

Pfffffffff.  I’m telling you.  I told them not to do it.  I just haven’t been the same since they took away my blankie.

Hey, now that Christmas is over, can we all agree that the Christmas song, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” is really not so much a song about Christmas as it is about date rape?  I’m serious.  Google the words.

LIFEZILLA:  Your favorite website to “make-out with” on New Year’s Eve.

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A Change in Our Conversation – Fiscal Responsibility

A Change in Our Conversation – Fiscal Responsibility

by Josh Loveless

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 As many of you know (welcome to those who don’t), I am running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.  If you’ve been listening to me recently, or over the years, I have loudly proclaimed a need for a “Change in Our Conversation” at the national level.  I wanted to take the time to tell you what I mean by that statement, and fiscal responsibility is a good subject to illustrate the point.

In the 2012 Presidential election cycle we heard many speeches about our national economy and taxes.  Many ideological theories on how to fix our looming financial problems were discussed incessantly.  Most interestingly after all this discussion, we the people voted for the status quo.  We changed neither our President, nor our Congress.  Why?

It is my opinion the outcome was determined by the conversation.  In all the debates and campaigning most Americans found that there was plenty of flowery language, incisive catch phrases, political platitudes and a general pandering tone in the arguments of both sides.  Essentially what we got was a total lack of reason and common sense delivered in a shiny feel-good (or outraging) wrapper.  The inner product contained little substance.

The Democrats would have us believe that the ideas of many Republicans are worn-out, tired, and failed.  The Republicans would have us believe that the Democrats are proposing more reckless policies that lead us to our current predicament in the first place.  But neither side really offered any real solutions.  Instead they repeated the same talking points they’ve been using for years, but with different branding.

An example would be how the Democrats realized that the term “pro-choice” was to some inflammatory and non-inclusive.  They changed the brand; instead they now call pro-choice “reproductive rights”.  Who’s not for the right to control our own sex-lives and ability to make choices around procreation?  At the root however, the substance of the argument did not change.

We need to stop changing our brand or our slogans and instead change the conversation.  We need to return to talking about substance.  We need to talk about the hard truths, roll-up our sleeves and go to work.  We need a return to action.  It’s not enough to offer platitudes and campaign promises.  We require a president and a congress that is willing to concede the root of a problem; who lock themselves in a room until they agree on a tangible solution that is balanced, responsible, and appropriate (even if it isn’t politically expedient).

Take fiscal responsibility for example.  We have spent the last 60 or more years ignoring three immutable facts: 2-1=1, 1-1=0, and 1-2=-1.  You don’t need to read Adam Smith, have a PhD in economics, or be a captain of industry to understand that spending more than you take in leads to bankruptcy.  Math is not an old, tired out political idea. One plus one never equals 11.

This statement is not a philosophical one.  Nor is it one of morality, religion, ideology, or politics.   Our political class however will go to nearly any length to obscure the truth and make it seem so.  They will charge the conversation with rhetoric but they never address the root except in divisive passing acknowledgement.

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It’s not enough to acknowledge the problem.  We require a solution, one that is realistic and workable.  We require a return to common sense.  We require a conversation about the root of the problem.  Again, take into consideration our prevailing conversation on taxation.

Listening to either side of the “fiscal cliff” argument one gets a very clear picture: Taxes have nothing to do with revenue.  Our politicians have proved this empirically; if we want a government program or idea bad enough we will find any means to pay for it.  This isn’t something new.  Does anyone else remember the congressional check bouncing scandals of the 1990’s, or the constant acknowledgement that Social-Security is insolvent?

Our politicians instead use taxation as a billy club, a way to influence and control.  The right would have us believe that tax policy should be used to change the economy, i.e. the George Bush tax rebate.  The left would have us believe that taxes should be used to control economic fairness and correct inadequacies in our society.  No doubt, taxes can influence both.  But taxation and tax policy are NOT at the root of our problems.  They neither caused our current economic predicament, nor our social failings.  Using taxes in this way is merely an attempt to shove us around, or force others to “see it our way”.

The conversation around taxation has to change back to: Taxes exist to generate revenue to fund the government, allowing it to provide for the general welfare as guided by the U.S. Constitution.  The conversation needs to change such that we begin to discuss the root causes of our economic and social problems, not all of which are related to policy.  It needs to change such that band aid resolutions, like taxation policy changes, are not considered a permanent solution, or a solution of any kind.

This is only one example of the change needed.  These aren’t new ideas, nor are they old and tired.  Instead, it’s a return to the foundations of any lasting society: economic common sense, balance in powers, cultural responsibility and accountability.

These aren’t minority opinions.  We don’t run our homes this way.  We don’t run our businesses this way.  We don’t run our churches this way.  We don’t run our communities this way.  It is time for the habitually silent majority to speak.  It’s time for America to demand common sense and grounded, principled leadership.

It’s time for a change in the conversation.

You can read more about Josh Loveless as a candidate at www.facebook.com/joshlovelessforcongress

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I Hate to Cloud the Issue with Facts

I Hate to Cloud the Issue with Facts

On Friday, December 14, 2012 a deeply troubled man entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut killing 20 young children and 6 adults.  As a father I can’t even begin to imagine what the parents are going through.  Because of my deep sympathy I have struggled, and struggled to write about the annoying knee jerk reaction to increase gun control that is being touted by the media and politicians.  But I need to.  Rahm Emanuel, former Chief of Staff for President Obama, said it best with his famous quote, “You never let a serious crisis go to waste.”  I think any politician who could come up with a phrase like that is an opportunistic jerk.  When feelings are tender and passions are high is not a time to make long term policy.

Let’s put some stuff into perspective.  On the Friday morning, before this tragedy happened, I was on Yahoo looking at the news.  I saw a little article that talked about a man going into a school and stabbing 22 children before being subdued.  I learned there had been six knife attacks like this in a seven month period in 2010 were nearly 20 were killed and more than 50 wounded.  This happened in China. Why isn’t that being widely reported?  Simple, it doesn’t fit the narrative that guns are the problem.  After the tragedy in Connecticut, I went back to Yahoo to bookmark the China story and couldn’t find it.  I actually had to do a Yahoo search (I’m sure the entire search staff of Yahoo were high fiving each other).

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Some more perspective: For years the biggest mass killing in US history happened in Bath, Michigan in 1927.  Apparently the man felt the government raised his taxes so high he had to foreclose on his land.  The government used the land to build a school.  This sick individual retaliated by setting off a bomb that killed 44, including 38 children.  No gun was used.

And a little bit more perspective: Timothy Mcveigh killed 168 innocent people. 19 were under the age of six.  He injured over 680 people.  He didn’t use a gun.  He used fertilizer, racing fuel and a box truck.  You can still purchase all these items.

What’s my point?  Murderers are going to murder.  Evil is evil and evil is real.  Closing your eyes denying it exists won’t help.  That will only cause a paralysis when it crashes into your life.

“But Danny,” you whine, “it just makes sense that fewer guns mean less crime.” Hmmmmmmmmmm no.  It really doesn’t.  Let’s look at two major cities in the United States, Chicago and Phoenix.  Chicago has some of the most strict gun laws in the nation, Phoenix the most lenient (you can carry a gun without a permit in Phoenix).  Gun crime violence in Chicago is TWICE as high as Phoenix.   I hate to use things, like I dunno, facts and stuff, but it’s true. Another fact, in 2007 a study from Harvard University concluded there IS a correlation between gun ownership and murder.  But it isn’t what you think.  Where gun ownership increases, violence and murder decrease.  Hmmmm?  Harvard is hardly a right leaning organization.  From the study:

There is a compound assertion that (a) guns are uniquely available in the United States compared with other modern developed nations, which is why (b) the United States has by far the highest murder rate. Though these assertions have been endlessly repeated, statement (b) is, in fact, false and statement (a) is substantially so.

“But Danny,” you continue to whine, “lots and lots of other countries have restrictive gun laws.  We come across as hillbillies.”  And!?!?!?  Again I hate to bring up facts.  Whenever any city, state or country institute more restrictive gun laws they experience an increase in almost every form of violent crime.  Canada, England and Australia all experienced double digit increases in violent crime immediately following their most recent crackdowns.  And if you look at Switzerland, where half the citizens own guns, they have the lowest crime rate in the world.

“But Danny (sob, cry, sob) do we really need citizens to have ASSAULT RIFLES (sniff, sniff)?”  Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…okay, full disclosure.  I own guns, but I have never considered myself a “gun guy”. I like the fact I can own them.  It is my Constitutional right.  What part of “shall not be infringed” do people not get?  I was watching the news the other day and this guy was whining about “semi-automatic weapons”.  Again, I’m not a gun guy, but even I know the phrase “semi-automatic” means you have to pull the trigger every time you want a bullet to come out. I guess the word “automatic” sounds scary.

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The United States isn’t the only country in the world to deal with the problems of mass killings in schools.  Israel and South Africa have faced similar problems.  Do you know what they did?  They armed the teachers and administrators.  If you think about it, we hire people who love kids.  We trust them to teach, why not trust them to protect?  I’ve heard some suggest hiring security guards for every school.  Again, this is a knee jerk response. Taking the money it would cost and putting that on the back burner, to properly guard a school you would need around 6 or so guards.  That is six people who would be VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY bored 99.999999999999% of the time.

There were 8,583 murders last year that included a gun in the United States, in a country that has an estimated 300 million guns. I can’t even figure out what the percentage of guns NOT used in a murder is.  I think if the states had mandatory prison time for any crime that included a gun the usage would go down.

I know these aren’t answers.  They are suggestions. No gun legislation would have prevented the tragedy of December 14, 2012.  No one, as an individual, can control the morality, spirituality or mental health of others.  If someone is determined to be violent they will figure out a way to do it. Banning guns won’t save lives.  Banning guns make the problem worse.

The founders gave us the 2nd amendment to insure we could always have the 1st.

 

LIFEZILLA:  Trust me, it works SOOOOOO much better than just mistletoe alone.

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Much to My Annoyance

Much to My Annoyance

I have a friend who sends me articles every once in a while.  A few weeks ago he sent me one from New York Times columnist Paul Krugman.  Krugman, if you don’t know is a Nobel Prize winner. A fact which used to be a huge accomplishment, today doesn’t mean that much.

I’m too lazy to explain why, so I’ll insert this picture:

See what I mean?  I know, it’s sad isn’t it? It is like a Nobel Prize has become the elitist equivalent of a participation metal. “Yeah, for us!!  Everyone gets a trophy.”  Anyway, back to Krugman. Even though I read it a couple of weeks ago, it took this long to fully annoy me.  Keep in mind I’m STILL amazed at how stupid the American people are for re-electing a President who’s done nothing but make the economy worse.  But, the people have spoken.  If the economies of Greece and California are lookin’ OH SO FINE to you, and if Santa Claus is your idea of a President who am I to complain?  But, oh yes, I will complain.

Krugman began spewing his editorial vomit by pointing out that in the 1950’s American survived a 91% income tax rate.  So apparently it’s time to bring back the good ol’ days.  Of course, I’m not surprised by this. The last election confirmed the majority of Americans believe higher taxes somehow create prosperity.  They just ignore the plethora (a word I learned from watching the “Three Amigos” as a kid) of historical evidence and common sense that suggest otherwise.

But that’s not the part that annoyed me.  Here is the paragraph that did:

“There are, let’s face it, some people in our political life who pine for the days when minorities and women knew their place, gays stayed firmly in the closet and congressmen asked, “Are you now or have you ever been?” The rest of us, however, are very glad those days are gone. We are, morally, a much better nation than we were. Oh, and the food has improved a lot, too.”

So, Mr. Krugman (if that’s your real name) just so I’m clear, “some” in our “political life” pine for a more oppressive society based on race, gender, and sexual orientation?  My question is WHO?  Give us a name of one politician who is calling for the oppression of women, minorities and gays.  Enlighten us with the name or number of any Republican bill, in any Committee that calls for these things.  With someone as super smart as Krugman to say “let’s face it,” these people have to be front and center in our “political life,” right?  Or am I missing something?

Remind me, didn’t the recent RNC have more women and minorities giving speeches than the DNC?  OHMIGOSH, it did.  But anyone as super smart as Krugman would be able to see right through that, it’s obviously smoke and mirrors.  Clearly, there is an underlining tone of sexism, racism and homophobia that is the ONLY reason that ANYONE could POSSIBLY be conservative.  Right?

Then there’s the, “We are, morally, a much better nation than we were” thing.

What the hell is he talking about?

Whenever a jackass like Krugman talks about morality, your walls of defense should really shoot up.  Morality isn’t food, where everyone’s opinion is valid.  As long as it tastes good to you, that’s all that matters.  To understand morality you have to have an understanding about standards.  What is right and what is wrong.

Killing someone because they have a nicer car is wrong.  Period.  The state can’t legitimately make laws that say otherwise.  Regardless of societal whims.  Our nation was founded on the idea that all men (including women) are “endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights.”  I hate to break it to you, but rights and morality are linked, all morality originates with God, not government.

If the government is what decides morality, than morality, just like everything else is economical.  How moral is it that more Americans live in poverty than ever before?  If morality is all about the living conditions of women and minorities, how are we more moral now with 72% of black children being born into families without a father?  Doesn’t that all but guarantee a continual cycle of poverty?  Of course we couldn’t POSSIBLY suggest the God-given morality of being married if you’re going to start cranking out babies.  Or, at a bare-ass minimum, suggest that fathers MAN UP and take care of their kids.  No, no, no. It’s more moral to give free contraception.

Well, at least they will all continue to vote Democrat.

I’ll agree with Krugman on one thing.   The food has improved over the past several decades.

 

LIFEZILLA:  Having more fun then two monkeys in a poo throwing contest.

 

 

CAUTION!!! This Contains Adult Content!!

CAUTION!!!  This Contains Adult Content!!

Seriously, invite any and all children to leave the room.  I’ll wait.

Okay.  Is the door locked?  Go make sure.  Pfffffffffffffffffffff…this is scandalous.

Before I launch into the grown up stuff, let me give you a hypothetical.  (The word hypothetical is a fancy way of saying “a story that never really happened”).  Let’s say you are in line at a Wendy’s.  For some reason they are really busy and you strike up a conversation with the guy behind you.  The guy looks like he is about your same age.  He is dressed nice and you see he drives a nice car.  He is also very articulate; a fairly normal guy.  In the course of the conversation he enthusiastically mentions that the Tooth Fairy recently visited his house.  You look around and it is obvious there are no kids of his within ear shot.  The conversation continues and he again mentions the Tooth Fairy.  You look around again and tell him, “You know there is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, right?”  “Oh no,” he answers, “The Tooth Fairy is very real.  She comes to our house at night and leaves a dollar, a $1.25 if the tooth is really clean.  We love the Tooth Fairy.”

Now any normal, rational adult would smile and say, “That’s great.  I’m glad that makes you happy,” and walk away.  Right?

Now for the scandalous grown up stuff.  Shhhhh…come here…I’ll whisper it…there is no such thing as a Tooth Fairy.

There’s not. There isn’t a mystical creature that breaks into your home to fulfill some weird obsession to collect milk teeth.  I have four kids.  I have been the Tooth Fairy.  I’ve even had late night panics where I have stolen money from one kid to pay for the disembodied tooth.

But if my hypothetical friend wants to believe, and it makes him happy, what is that to me?  As a rational adult, wouldn’t I just smile, smugly secure that I’m intellectually superior to my fairy believing friend?  Would I fall to the ground screaming, weeping, wailing and gnashing my teeth?  Would I form an organization dedicated to eradicating all signs of the tooth fairy from every aspect of the community?  No.  A rational person would not.

So, my question is:  If you, as a rational adult, have concluded and elevated God and the Tooth Fairy to the same level, why would you fight it?

Why is it, that every Christmas, there are stories of groups suing the community (city, county, state) to remove Christ out of Christmas?  Let’s say you don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God.  There is no doubt he was the most influential man in all history.  He was a great man and a great teacher.  We have days celebrating, and in remembrance, of great people all through the year.  So why not Jesus?

Could it be that Christians, because of the whole “turn the other cheek” thing are easy targets?  We don’t fight back.  I think so.  I’ll let you in on another secret, and I won’t whisper this one.  There is nothing in the Gospel of Jesus Christ that says you have to be a door mat for anyone.  I’m not saying fight back with your fists.  Just don’t put up with the tomfoolery.

“But, Danny,” you whine, “what about the separation of church and state?”  Honestly.  I just rolled my eyes so hard I think I threw my neck out.  There is no state sanctioned religion in the United States.  No one is dragging anyone to church.  No one is being fined, or thrown in prison for not going.   You can worship who, where, or what you want in America.  Or not.  That’s one of the things that makes America great.  It’s the mutual respect of another’s beliefs.

In my humble opinion, the fact that some people equate God and the tooth fairy as the same, and are so venomously opposed to the mention of God in any context, proves His existence.

Now, for full disclosure, I believe in God.  I believe He is the Father of our spirits.  I believe we were created in His image and that Jesus is his literal Son.  That Jesus, as a baby, inherited from both parents certain characteristics.  From his eternal Father, Jesus inherited immortality, from his mother, Jesus inherited mortality.  From his mother Jesus inherited the requirement or obligation to die, from his Father the power to rise again.

At Christmastime we pause and reflect upon his birth.  It’s kind of funny.  His birth, although unique and important, isn’t the most important part of his life.  It’s the start.  The most important parts are his teachings, his suffering, his death and his resurrection.

Christ was born like all of us, innocent and pure.  But unlike the rest of us, he stayed that way.  As we grow and mature we make mistakes.  We sin.  Jesus never sinned.  Our sin keeps us out of the presence of God forever.  So God, as a gift of love, gave us his Son.  In a way I can’t explain, Jesus’ purity and innocence made it so that he, who had done no wrong, could take upon himself the price of all our sins so we can, if we choose, return to live with God, our Father.

Because Christ broke the bonds of death, all of us, one day will stand before God with a resurrected perfected body, never to lay it down again.  It is a free gift, to all.

Because of his suffering in Gethsemane and on the cross, He gave us victory over spiritual death as well.  It is also a free gift–but not to all.  It is available to all.  Each of us has to choose to take advantage of this gift.  How?  By repentance, and keeping the Lord’s commandments.

I don’t get it.  I really don’t.  I can’t explain how.  It is a matter of faith.

And that’s the point isn’t it?  If you believe, or don’t believe it is the hope in a new born child that we can better ourselves and grow.

Remember what Christ grew up to do.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or if you’re an atheist, have a nice day.

 

LIFEZILLA:  I just realized my phone will automatically capitalized the word Internet, but not god…Welcome to the 21st century, where priorities become abundantly clear.

The Opportunity Gap Myth

The Opportunity Gap Myth

By Josh Loveless

This is my first real blog post.  I am not sure I know how to write a blog.  But I do know you have to write about something close to you or something you are passionate about.  For me that’s the politics and sociology of the United States of America, the land of opportunity.

That word, opportunity, was used constantly during the 2012 Presidential Election cycle by both parties.  Each side claims that there is a gap in the opportunities available to American citizens.  One side fervently argues that the rich have more opportunity because of outdated policies and loopholes.  The other side fervently argues that opportunity for the middle class is dwindling because of excessive government and out of control spending.  Both sides however agree that there is in fact a gap in opportunity.

This is a long held belief in America, that access to opportunity is important and that some have more access than others.  In other words, as President Obama likes to quip, the “Playing field is not level.”  It is strongly believed by many that opportunity abounds for the wealthy members of our society and that there are little or no opportunities for the poor.  I guess the middle class is the median by this proposal?

In order to understand a potential opportunity gap we first have to understand what opportunity is.  I am not trying to patronize here.  I want to go beyond the definition.  We all know that opportunity means a chance for success.  But where does it actually come from, where do the conditions necessary for success originate?

First, life itself IS an opportunity.  Simply being born and remaining alive means we have the chance to experience first-hand both the good and the bad that a human existence has to offer.  To all humanity that opportunity is simply inherent and equal.

Then there are environmental opportunities.  These opportunities exist simply by where and to whom a person was born, and with what natural gifts they may have.  A person born in Central Africa does not have the same environment as a person born in Mongolia, Venezuela, or Canada.  Access to natural resources, level of education and culture are obviously different for every person.

I hope that we are all mature enough to recognize that you cannot “level the playing field” when it comes to environmental opportunities.  Technology has helped somewhat, but there will always be differences that cannot be reconciled.  Genetics alone prove that beyond any shadow of doubt.

So when we talk about opportunity gap we are talking about the things we have control over.  In other words we are talking about conditions that we as human beings create.  That’s an important concept.  These types of opportunities are not inherent.  Somebody somewhere must exert some effort to manufacture this opportunity.

This would be the difference between say an Ivy League education and a community college education, and furthermore no education at all.  Someone believed that they could create a superior education experience and therefore built a school and offered at a premium a quality education.  It is this “pool of created opportunities” that politicians believe can be leveled through government taxes, regulation, and policy.

But I personally find this notion to be the greatest of all American fallacies.  The idea itself is contrary to the very nature of these “opportunities of creation”.  It implies that there are a limited number of total opportunities, and therefore a limit on human intelligence.  It implies that once created, it can only exist in a finite box.  While that may be true to the extent that there are only 24 seats in a certain Harvard classroom, there is nothing to say that Harvard can’t build another.  Or, that a competitor can’t build a new and improved class and campus that allows for additional students.

The very idea that there will ever be a “level playing field” is a small minded one.  In fact it is when the playing field is the least level that opportunity abounds.  It is out of struggle that ideas are born and creativity abounds.  If humans had perfect minds that functioned like a computer we would never have invented the computer in the first place.  That’s just a rudimentary example, but I hope you see my point.

To further explain my view on this point you need to know a little about my background.  Yes, I am a white male living in the U.S.  I was born into a white family with two parents who tried to raise me correctly.  It was not a perfect home but it was a home and from that perspective I would never be one to argue that my access to environmental opportunities wasn’t very great.

But we struggled too.  My parents had six children.  My Dad worked hard, but we sometimes struggled.  I love my parents, they always made sure that I had clothes on my back and food and a roof under which to live.  As I became a teenager the struggles deepened.

My Dad lost his job.  He remained out of work or was severely under-employed for many years.  My Mom became the main breadwinner of the family.  I love my Mom and she worked hard at a local eye doctor.  But she had no education and her salary wasn’t exactly above poverty-line.  She would supplement by cleaning offices at night, a task that I helped her with throughout high school without pay.

Bills mounted just like they do for everyone.  Life just happens.  Let’s just say I know what people mean when they talk about the taste of government cheese.  It became apparent to me that if I wanted to have a few “extras” in my life I would need to work.  So at age 14 I got my first job.  By 15 I recognized my income simply wasn’t going to cut the mustard if I wanted new school clothes, or the chance to have an occasional lunch that wasn’t in a paper sack.

I started taking multiple jobs at a time, working fervently during the school year and doubly so over the summers.  I have worked full time (36+ hours) since that time (with the exception of my mission, which was 16 months).  Oh I have worked every job imaginable.  I have dug ditches, sold shoes, moved pipe, cleaned pig stalls, and even spent a summer working in a lake of human feces because it was the highest paying job I could find (that’s not a metaphor, nor am I exaggerating).

I did this in order to create opportunity for myself.  I did this to give myself comfort both in the present and in the hope of a better future.  While everyone else was enjoying their high school years, playing sports, going on dates, attending something called a prom (something I never experienced) I was working.

This was in South East Idaho.  The school I went to wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great.  Many of the teachers were full-time farmers and part-time teachers.  I struggled to manage my grades and work full time.  But I still worked hard at it, recognizing even then that my access to education opportunities were “shrinking” every day.

After high school I applied to several universities.  But as you know, they are competitive.  They didn’t care that my modest GPA (3.4) was the result of my workload.  If they had looked at my transcript they would have seen straight A’s in over 10 AP classes.  I didn’t get into the schools I wanted, but I did get accepted to BYU.  I was ecstatic.

I did all the things I was supposed to do.  I applied for grants, but got denied.  I applied for scholarships, but didn’t qualify.  I applied for government loans, but the approved amount was not sufficient (the student loan program didn’t work then like it does now).  I applied for other commercial loans to make up the difference, but I had no credit.

It became pretty obvious that a university education was not in the cards for me at that time in my life.  My opportunities again appeared to be “shrinking”.  I suppose if I applied today’s societal thoughts to my situation I would have been pretty bitter.  I mean hadn’t I been paying into the system just like any other worker?  I had been paying thousands in taxes since age 14.

But I didn’t accept that.  I didn’t think that way.  Instead I went to work.  I found my way into the IT industry.  I looked for ways to get a real world education and move up the ladder.  I busted my butt, working nights and weekends, sometimes 70 or more hours a week.  In other words I paid my dues; I created opportunity for myself when it appeared none existed.

So now here I am at age 34.  I admit, I’ve had a good run.  I’ve finally got an income and a job that is helping me pay for that university education.  I don’t have tons of discretionary money, but it’s enough that I can take the kids out to eat once in a while.  It’s enough that we can afford one moderate family vacation each year.  It’s enough that I can put my kids in organized sports and maybe give them piano lessons.  It’s enough that I get to help create opportunities for my children that I simply didn’t have access to.

It’s not the rich life, but it’s a good one.  These are the opportunities that I have created for myself.  They weren’t given to me.  I didn’t take them from someone else.  My having them doesn’t lessen the chance of anyone else in the world to do the same or better.

But now here we are back at my original point.  In 2013 the United States is facing a fiscal cliff.  For all intents and purposes we are hurling at this cliff at an incredible speed.  The argument of a “level playing field” that was campaigned so heavily on has still not been decided.  We are very likely to drive over the cliff at full speed, just so that each side of the debate can “prove a point”.

President Obama once said, “Elections have consequences”. This is so very true, if not somewhat obvious and patronizing.  In this case I want you the reader to know what the consequence is for me and my family.  If we go over the fiscal cliff my federal taxes will overnight jump by a substantial margin.  In fact, the margin is high enough that my entire discretionary budget will be wiped out completely.

That means I don’t get that extra time off to enjoy my small vacation.  It means I have to back to working harder to cover the incidentals that just happen because life happens.  It means more long nights and weekends, and more paying dues.  It means I won’t be able to finish my university education after all.  It means that my kids probably won’t get those music lessons I was hoping to provide.  It means my family will have less to spend on leisure activities and vacations that build our family morale.  It means they probably won’t get to play team sports for a while.

Now I ask you the reader, is that what is meant by “leveling the playing field”?  How is that level?  So it is to be believed that because my environmental circumstances were slightly more favorable than another’s, that they deserve the opportunities that I have created for myself?  This, some believe, is fairer?  Who is this mysterious arbiter of fair, because I have some words for them.

In this small minded, selfish, modern philosophy it is to be believed that because of the color of my skin, the place of my birth, my gender, my parentage, or my religion that I am less deserving or less “entitled” to the fruits of my labor.  It is to be believed that my opportunities should be taken from me and given to another.  More troublesome, the opportunities I have created for my children must be taken so that others may have them.

Surely when you look at the life of a single middle-class American family faced with higher taxes, decreased wages due to inflation, higher costs for basic goods and services, you the reader can see the disparity of this philosophy.  I at least hope you can.  I have never been, nor will I ever be, ashamed to be an American.  But this idea is wrong.  It is shameful. And it is disgusting.

I have hope for myself because I do not believe in this philosophy.  I do not believe there is a limit to the number and types of opportunities in this world.  I do not believe that there is in fact a finite pool of chances that have to be “spread around”.  I do not believe in the myth of the opportunity gap.

And it’s not that I am heartless.  Remember? I know what government cheese tastes like.  I give as much as I am able to charities that directly benefit folks in need.  But then that too will be affected by the approaching fiscal cliff.  In fact the idea that this philosophy of a “level playing field” is a “Christian” one is even more of a fallacy.  If you disagree, I would simply point you Jesus’ parable of the talents (Mathew 25: 14-30).  I don’t see anywhere in there where the man who magnified his talents was told to give it to the one who did not.

I will find a way, as I always do when faced with adversity, to create new opportunities for myself and my family.  But if I am being honest with myself, it’s getting harder every day to be the optimist.  It’s getting harder every day to believe that I can create more opportunity for myself and others.  Because when I do, I know that someone out there will believe that he/she has claim to the fruits of my labor.  I’ve been working full time for 20 years now, and some days I feel really old and tired.  I don’t think that is what 34 is supposed to feel like.

LIFEZILLA:  I hear a laugh track every time I open my wallet

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Something Wicked This Way Comes

You would think I would be over it now, but I’m still a little bitter about it.  I just still can’t believe how stupid the American Electorate is.  Now everyone is screaming about how the Republicans need to ‘reach out’ to this group or that group.  They need to ‘evolve.”  And you know what?  That may be true.  In fact, let’s say (for sake of argument) it’s 100% true.  Still.  We had one chance to steer the country away from a fiscal Greece-style cliff and what did we do?  We hit the gas.

Why?  Because of “birth control, binders and Big Bird,” oh my!!!

 As you can imagine, many of my more liberal friends have been teasing me this last week.  I can take it, bring it on.  What is…well…I don’t want to say its “sad,” because it is just part of the gig.  What’s “kind of sad” is that an uninformed vote means just as much as an informed one.  Don’t get me wrong; I get that people have different points of view. If President Obama is your guy and you can list off the reasons why, I have nothing but respect for that.  But, if your only two reasons are (and I honestly heard these) “He is just trying so hard, I just feel we need to give him a second chance,” or “Bush was just so bad,” you should just go back to watching “Dancing with the Stars” and let the grown-ups talk. (FYI, I really enjoy watching DWTS.)

As I look back at it, what REALLY gets me is things like this:

This is honestly one of Obama’s super-charming campaign slogans that (apparently) many single women took to heart.  But let me let you in on a little secret: nothing about this election had anything to do with your “lady parts”.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE fan of “lady parts.”  HUGE FAN.  I’m a huge fan of women.  I look at my wife (who, four kids and twenty-one years later, is still SMOKIN’ HOT) and all she does: cleans, cooks, full time job, volunteer work, she works with the Young Women at our church–she amazes me.  I firmly believe all women should be put on a pedestal, I really do, for all those reasons.  Plus, when you put a woman up on a pedestal, it is easier to look up her skirt (wicked grin).

To me it is ironic that women, who supposedly are strong, voted to be taken care of by government.

“But Danny,” you whine, “what about contraception?”  Either way the election went, nothing would have changed in the realm of contraception.  Nothing, zero, zip, noda, regardless of who won.

“But Danny,” you continue to whine, “what about abortion?”  It amazes me that abortion rears its ugly head every election.  It is one of those divisive issues that doesn’t mean a thing.  Regardless of your personal thoughts on abortion, for it or against it, the fact Roe v. Wade was brought about judiciously, took that debate entirely out of the legislative arena. In other words, you cute little bugger you, no president or Congress could pass any laws to undermine it as long as that precedent stands.

Yes, it’s true: Romney could have appointed Supreme Court justices that might overturn that precedent (though I doubt it).  But even if he did, NOTHING would have changed. Congress has codified the principles of Roe v. Wade into federal law, so the only way to completely overturn it would be, the Republicans would have to control the White House, Congress, and 60 votes in the Senate (something that has never happened in the history of the republic), and that is assuming all Republicans are pro-life.

Now I’m well aware that I’m being completely hypocritical with this next statement.  I get it.  I just can’t believe anyone would base their vote on ONE issue.

The biggest threat to anyone’s “lady parts” is the fiscal solvency of your nation.  That threat is actually real.  The made-up bull crap about abortion and contraception is just that: Crap.  How could anyone vote for anything based on phantom stories when we have a very real and compelling prospect of an irrecoverable economic disaster?  Un-be-freaking-lievable.

In case you can’t tell, I’m still amazed, and a little peeved at the election results.

 

LIFEZILLA:  I don’t know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now.

 

 

Buck Up Weary Camper!!

Buck Up Weary Camper!!

 So Tuesday night I turned off the TV at roughly “what’s the point o’clock.”  I was shocked and saddened that the country had chosen “Free Stuff” over Freedom.  In my little brain I was thinking that the only difference between parasites and liberals is that parasites understand that killing their host wouldn’t be good for them.  My last thought before falling asleep was, “Maybe the Mayans were right.”

But when I woke up I felt better.  Even though I had to endure a day of being mocked and ridiculed for posting my predictions (you can see now why I’m not a huge gambler when I go to Las Vegas).

I thought Mitt ran a good campaign. In retrospect he could have, and should have, done a little more.  But that is water under the bridge.  The question is, what do we do now?  Do we act like a bunch of pansies and sit in the corner, sucking our thumbs, or do we “gird up your loins, fresh courage take”?  (If you ask my wife my loins are ALWAYS girded.)

The road ahead is going to suck.  Money guru Steve Forbes is predicting a recession.  We have “Taxmageddon” coming the first of the year.  It will effect everyone.  The Huffington Post (hardly a right-leaning organization) has a good article on it.  Read more of about it here.  Seriously…go read it.

I’m betting if Romney had pointed out more often that President Obama has raise taxes more than any President in history, the media would have had to explain it.

I’m sure many in the GOP are freaking out.  I don’t think going to the left is the answer though.  We need to do a better job at explaining the principles.

Steve Forbes said:

“Where the Republican Party goes, is not abandoning its principles of freedom, but making sure that we articulate those principles,” he said.

“When Romney came under attack for Bain he was not very good in sending the essence of free-enterprise and freedom, and the idea that markets succeed by serving the needs and wants of other people. He never made the moral case. We have to have candidates that do.

“We have a very good bench in the party — a lot of good, young up-and-coming people so this is not the time to try to be mini-Democrats. This is the time to go to basic principles and figure out how to get these principles across to people and the policies that derive from those principles across to people — all different groups in America, and that is the way we have to go.

“Reagan did it. We have to do it again.”

In other words.  Buck up weary camper!!!  The fight has just begun.

 

LIFEZILLA:  I used to think I was trapped inside a woman’s body…then I was born.

My Predictions

My Predictions

I wasn’t going to, but here are my predictions.

(I’m posting this at 4:20pm Mountain Time)

Romney will win big.  Taking swing states North Carolina, Virginia, Florida, Ohio (YES, I said Ohio), New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania.  He will lose Iowa, Nevada and Michigan.  Minnesota?  Hmmmm…I’m not sure.  My guess is we are looking at Romney winning the electoral victory of 308 to 230.  The popular vote will also go to Romney with 52% and Obama 47%.  With 1% going to the third party weirdos.

 

LIFEZILLA: Shout out to myself.  I LOVE YOU BUDDY!!!

 

 

AVENGE ME!!!!

AVENGE ME!!!!

I was in Las Vegas last week for a trade show.  It was a big week, politically, and I have soooooo much I wanna write about.

On Saturday the 3rd, I saw President Obama tell a group of followers, after they booed at Mitt Romney’s name, “Don’t boo.  Vote! Vote! Voting’s the best revenge!”

Revenge?  Really?  Is that what the Presidency of the United States is all about?  Revenge?

The Mitt Romney campaign countered pretty quickly with this ad:

I’m a Romney fan.  I think he is the most uniquely qualified man for turning the economy around and leading this country than any one else.  But I’m not a robot.  I’ll watch him closely, and if I disagree with him I’ll say it.  I believe many Obama supporters are mindless robots.  Obama could set an orphan on fire and he would be praised for “heating the homeless.”

When I first heard Obama’s revenge quote I rolled my eyes and gave him a pass.  It was one, off the cuff, comment.  No big deal.  UNTIL, I heard this quote from Valerie Jarrett:

“After we win this election, it’s our turn. Payback time. Everyone not with us is against us and they better be ready because we don’t forget. The ones who helped us will be rewarded, the ones who opposed us will get what they deserve. There is going to be hell to pay. Congress won’t be a problem for us this time. No election to worry about after this is over and we have two judges ready to go.”

You got that?  Seriously, go read it again.  If you don’t know, Valerie Jarrett is a Senior Advisor to President Obama, and has been referred to as “Obama’s Brain.”  It sounds as if they are planning on carpet bombing the United States of America for the next four years if they win.  Revenge?  It sounds more like a Tyrant and a Dictator.  Is that really what we want from the leader of a free Republic?

Last night I was watching the President on Fox news.  I paused my TV and took this picture.

See the guy with the upside down sign?  Forward?  More like Barackwards!

Please, BE SURE TO VOTE.  IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

We changed our clocks Sunday, I’m hoping we change our President this Tuesday.

 

LIFEZILLA:  HEY!!!  Help spread the word about Lifezilla.  Unless you think that word is “incompetent.”  Then I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut.